But I never wanna leave these people that I've always told myself I hate but I just figured out I love them. And I didn't realize it until yesterday
that I'm never coming back
and I'm never going to see the people I love again until the awkward encounters at the grocery store in 20 years
and the worst is that I'm afraid they won't matter to me anymore and those encounters will be awkward and an unsettling reminder of what I once had but lost
And I want to keep up with the people that I just hear things about and I talk to and say hi to in the halls and don't even talk to in my classes and who likes who and what happened last weekend and I wish I was a sophomore again because I could start all over and never leave and complete the cyclic circle over and over again until I hated it so much that it wouldn't hurt so bad to leave
but I heard change is good
But high school is stagnant and static and unchanging and I want to stay where I'm comfortable and know where I stand and stay and not have to move on to dynamic different new living place and school and roommates and people and return missionaries who just want to get married and real life is just around the corner and I don't want to face it.
