Mockingbirds and Slam Nerves (AKA Atticus Monet)

Well, I had Atticus Monet for my white elephant, and I chose her poem At Least I am Trying. I think it's beautiful and I hope I do it justice.

at least I am trying

I am never full
I am a human garbage disposal

and I absorb everything in my path 

So please excuse me for being busy all the time, I'd rather soak in things for myself then gulf down empty hello's and distant meetings that I wasn't invited to because sorry I am busy all the time.

I walk down tile floors under florescent lights and dreaded parking lots constantly thinking

    this isn't going to last forever

            this isn't going to last forever

                   this isn't going to last forever

then snap I am daydreaming

in the meantime, people try to throw their fists down my throat and scream into my absent eyes

but please save your breathe because my soul matured way faster than my body and 

I am just growing still

but not really growing still, I don't want to live like that
                  staying still I decided isn't an option for me 
and raising your voice isn't going to make things more clear


we have been moving since the day we were born

so please quit telling me to sit down 
there are things I have not disposed of yet
if you would just let me find them or allow me to let them go
please let me try 
 then if I fail, I promise I'll keep my head up right so that I won't grow into the ground


but bound here, so far, I have dug tunnels to avoid the way some things make me feel, and secret walls to avoid the empty stares that make me feel less,
bound by time I would regret wasting
I am not a time traveler
 my tunnels just lead to better places, better times, better me's 

I am a human disposal but I do not intend on wasting 
only sprouting 
always growing