It's Saturday night.
My phone is completely silent.
I haven't been called in weeks.
My friend tells me she's surprised I don't have a boyfriend.
I'm not.
I tear myself down as though I were as strong as a house of cards.
Acne.
Socially inept.
Brown eyes.
I mean, who likes brown eyes on a girl anyway?
Isn't that a guy thing? Tall dark and handsome? Girls who have blonde hair and blue eyes?
Isn't that the perfect combination?
I guess I'm far from perfect, because that doesn't describe me at all.
Least noticed by the company I keep.
Least noticed by the company they keep.
Until I am no longer noticed by anyone
and I fade so drastically I am transparent, opaque only in the hopes that someone will see me.
Don't worry about me though.
I'll be OK by tomorrow.
Hey, you're not the only one out there like that. I've felt that way at times.
ReplyDeletei wasn't feeling happy so i decided to read this
ReplyDeleteand i just want you to know that you are not alone in this feeling. i know that doesn't make it feel better though, it still sucks.
also, i feel you on the brown eyes thing.
thanks for being so honest, this was great.
I feel you. This is literally my life. Especially the last line. Know that it's okay not to feel okay!!! You're amazing. I love this.
ReplyDeleteif it makes you feel any better..........I'm into brunettes.
ReplyDelete^ me too.
ReplyDeleteit scares me a little bit how perfectly i could relate to your words. i know everyone tells you this but you're not alone. you still might be lonely but you're not alone.
ReplyDeleteWasn't happy, read this, made me happy to know I'm not alone in some of those feelings. Just wow, thank you!
ReplyDeleteamen on the brown eyes.
ReplyDeletealso I see you.
I'm on your side.
opaque only in the hopes that someone will see me
ReplyDeletewell said
im a fan of how your blog looks and how you write and it feels so real and just thx